June 2, 2018
My grandmother passed away a couple days ago. The last 5 years she was in a nursing home passing through all the stages of Alzheimer’s. Since we knew that her final day was coming, I had the opportunity to finish up a video of her life earlier this week (you can watch her video here).
It is so interesting to watch a life pass before your eyes in less than 8 minutes. Someone once said, “The days are long but the years are short.” Time seems to pass so slowly, but when we look back we see it is just a breath, just a blink of time.
Psalm 144:4 – Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow. (HCSB)
Our lives are a culmination of a million different decisions, some relatively inconsequential and others life changing. When I look back at my grandma’s life, I see a life well lived with lots of love… a life of making the best even in difficult situations. But I do wonder if she feels the same. Did she live with regret and secret longings? Or was she satisfied and fulfilled with her life?
We only get to see a little window into someone else’s life. Even with those we are closest to, we can never completely know them. It’s interesting to me that in a world where we long to be fully known and fully loved, we are unable to completely find that fulfillment in our family and friends. We can only be fully known and loved by God Himself. Perhaps it will be different in heaven, but right now it is comforting to know that I am fully known and loved by God.
1 Corinthians 13:12 – For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
Psalm 139:1 – You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.
As far as a life well lived… I think that is a question that we should all ask ourselves. What is it that would make me feel like my life was well lived? At this moment in time, I would say my answer to that question is two fold. First it would simply be being present, not striving for the future or wallowing in regrets of the past, but living life fully right now. It is enjoying the cool breeze wafting through my house. It is smiling at the kid’s chatter while they paint me pictures for their art wall. It is the ping of a well hit driver reminding me to pray for my husband in his upcoming golf tournament. Simply put, it is enjoying all that my life is at this moment in time… the good and the bad, embracing it all.
Secondly, it would be fully embracing that I am known and loved by God. It is easy to read those words in the Bible and even say them out loud, but it is quite another thing to live like I am fully known and loved. I would have nothing to prove, nothing to hide. Being fully known and loved wouldn’t mean that I am perfect, but it would mean that I am accepted just as I am right now… that changing wouldn’t make me loved any more than I am at this very moment.
I believe that if I was walking in those two things then I would be living a life well lived. I’m not there yet, but with each passing year I’m inching closer. Perhaps at the end of my life my grandchildren will be able to say that their grandmother had a life well lived.
Goodby, Grandma. I’m looking forward to seeing you whole in heaven one day.